I Will Not Be Bitter, I Will Love Harder

I Run for…

So for those who have not heard about a horrific story of a young man who lost his life, the tragic event happened in February and now has come to light. A young black man took a peaceful jog out in his neighborhood and was literally hunted and gunned down by two white men who Speculated if this young man was a robber and decided to take Matters into their own hands ultimately ending this young man’s life. His name was Ahmaud Arbury.

Enough is enough! Too many stories of innocent, unarmed black human beings trying to live their lives, and getting interrupted and taken. 

A video was taken showing this horrific tragedy and now that eyes have been set on this video of the unspeakable and unnecessary murder, people have become outraged and some have been in fear.

My grandfather was a civil rights activist and planted roots for his generation and the generations of his family to fight for what is right, do it with passion, do it with love, be consistent and persistent but never take any wooden nickels. So it’s in my blood.

There’s so much that keeps on happening especially during this time and it’s getting out of hand.

When I think about what’s happening in this world today all I can pray is that the Lord continues to Cover us with His blood and Hide us behind His cross from all seen and unseen danger, sickness and illness.

Although my flesh will remind me of fear, bitterness, frustration, anger, and resentment, I cannot let it consume me Because that is not who I am. I know I can say I have every right to feel those feelings when injustice takes place. I have. Especially being a black mother and wife to a black man a children. God only knows what has gone through my mind. 

However, to allow those feelings to become me would be doing a disservice to myself. I am just going to love harder on my love ones and the people who surround me. What does love harder to me mean? Hug a little longer, and smile more. But it also means educating and being educated more so that I can be more and do more for my future generations, just like my parents and grandparents did for me. 

I can’t and won’t let my spirit live in fear and bitterness for others prejudices and dislikes towards other people that the Lord made rightfully to be on this earth. 

After getting information on this recent tragedy, Yes I thought about, what if I or my husband were to go out for an innocent jog. I even thought about my kids, as they grow older…what if?? It can be scary! 

I had to snap out of the what if’s because I DID NOT want to take myself into downward spiral mentally and emotionally. I told myself, just LIVE Crystal, just live life. If I can’t live life then I can’t trust God. I choose to live! 

I am not going to let the selfish and ignorant choices others make, to dictate my mental, physical, spiritual and emotional health. 

If I go for a jog or anything else I or my family decide to do, wherever we are, I trust God is with us. 

I trust and know that God is working every situation we are praying for, in His way and time. 

I have console in the scriptures reminding me that God is in control and with me and wanted to share with YOU!

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” ~ 2 Timothy 1:7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” ~ Philippians 4:6-7

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” ~ Isaiah 41:10

When you see and know of injustices, speak and rise up! We need to be in this together and not turn another cheek. 

Please share this with others!!

I love you all!!!



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