Archive for Embracing the process

Controlling Emotions

Embrace The Process

How do you control your emotions when you are heartbroken and trying to deal with that day in and day out?

What scripture says…

Thanks for listening! Be encouraged!

What Is Real Happiness

What is REAL Happiness to you?

One of my friends posted this on IG and I’m glad I came across it at the time I did. 

2 things I pray and speak to God about is 1) peace surrounding me and 2) a peace of mind. I know that the peace God can provide is plentiful No matter what season I am in. 

To me, true happiness is peace. I am able to embrace whatever process/transition I am in with peace. 

Peace of mind in keeping me mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally sane, and not being consumed of this world. The peace of mind to Keep me focused on what He has called me to do and not loose sight of it despite whatever distractions are going on. 

Just providing peace that surrounds me that wherever I go He’s got me and I am secure. That’s what fulfills my happiness. 

In a world full of material things it’s challenging because you can be drawn to it and lose peace easily. Money, acceptance, body image, the list can continue. They can bring happiness is you obtain them, but it’s temporary and superficial. We find ourselves never enough or always tying to please and it certainly ones a never ending cycle. There is always a hole of emptiness deep inside. 

I have felt that way before and found that peace rebukes all of the worldly things. 

To enjoy LIFE abundantly is to have peace that allows your happiness to be fulfilled wholeheartedly. 

Behind My Faith

I had just finished up completing some work for the week and ready to just unwind for the weekend. As I was scrolling through my phone on Instagram I came across a story in titled behind her faith. It’s an actual TV show that involves for women who are very successful and examine their personal journeys, highlighting the power of faith as they’re driving force.

I watched this one minute clip of one of the ladies sharing a personal story in her journey and I watched it at least three times with tears in my eyes because I could feel her passion and could relate to her in someway, Especially when she said “God Reminding me of his power to save my life.” 

Listen:

I just replayed that part over and over.

Behind my personal faith I don’t think I could ever describe in a way that someone could truly understand the connection that I have with the Lord and it started at a very early age. Since then, my faith has never wavered, at times it grew weak at some points in my journey but I never let it fade. What the Lord did for me at a early age set my foundation of faith.

During this quarantine my journey has definitely had its ups and downs but my faith in the Lord caring and guiding me in the right direction has stayed tremendously strong. 

There has been so many times in this season I have felt like I’ve let myself go in my health and my physical fitness and in my mental capacity but deep deep down in my heart I have felt the Lord letting me know that this is only a phase and that his power is greater than any problem that I am going through now and He will get me through it.

There were two ways the Lord showed me his power within one week. There was one specific week where I had let my health just go into the slump’s drinking orange juice having chunky monkey ice cream almost every day and just not putting in time into my fitness. I could definitely feel the outcomes of my choices and I prayed to the Lord knowing I was heavily slacking but my Faith knew that he would get me out of it. That weekend going into a new week I got a sense of empowerment that I knew was nothing but coming from the Lord my mindset quickly changed and I found myself sitting down writing out a fitness plan and preparing healthier meals. He knew my faith that I had that he would get me through that phase and got me into the next phase. I have been feeling so so so much better now. 

The Other day, after playing fetch with My dog Bear 🐻,  I came inside only to be greeted by my daughter and being told that my necklace was just dangling when I looked down I noticed that it had broke and that the pendant that was hanging on it was gone. That pendant has been so special to me because it was one of the first gifts my husband gave me when we were dating and I have had it for at least 10 years now. When I realized the pendant was missing my heart broke but again deep deep in my heart I could hear the Lord telling me it will be OK and to be patient. I was so distraught in thinking that it may never be found in all of the places I had been. I retracted my steps over and over, but no avail. 

Although my faith felt weak in knowing I may not find it, I could strongly feel the Lord working on my heart telling me to trust in him. Do you know almost 2 days later, He lead me DIRECTLY to the pendant. When I say directly I mean RIGHT TO IT, It was like He directed me on the path and told me to look down. 

These two stories are minimal to other behind my faith stories I could share, but I felt we’re worth sharing in my embrace the process journey. 

Behind my faith is a lot of substance. A lot of what I do, think and believe is based off of my faith experiences. 

What is behind your faith? 

I Will Not Be Bitter, I Will Love Harder

I Run for…

So for those who have not heard about a horrific story of a young man who lost his life, the tragic event happened in February and now has come to light. A young black man took a peaceful jog out in his neighborhood and was literally hunted and gunned down by two white men who Speculated if this young man was a robber and decided to take Matters into their own hands ultimately ending this young man’s life. His name was Ahmaud Arbury.

Enough is enough! Too many stories of innocent, unarmed black human beings trying to live their lives, and getting interrupted and taken. 

A video was taken showing this horrific tragedy and now that eyes have been set on this video of the unspeakable and unnecessary murder, people have become outraged and some have been in fear.

My grandfather was a civil rights activist and planted roots for his generation and the generations of his family to fight for what is right, do it with passion, do it with love, be consistent and persistent but never take any wooden nickels. So it’s in my blood.

There’s so much that keeps on happening especially during this time and it’s getting out of hand.

When I think about what’s happening in this world today all I can pray is that the Lord continues to Cover us with His blood and Hide us behind His cross from all seen and unseen danger, sickness and illness.

Although my flesh will remind me of fear, bitterness, frustration, anger, and resentment, I cannot let it consume me Because that is not who I am. I know I can say I have every right to feel those feelings when injustice takes place. I have. Especially being a black mother and wife to a black man a children. God only knows what has gone through my mind. 

However, to allow those feelings to become me would be doing a disservice to myself. I am just going to love harder on my love ones and the people who surround me. What does love harder to me mean? Hug a little longer, and smile more. But it also means educating and being educated more so that I can be more and do more for my future generations, just like my parents and grandparents did for me. 

I can’t and won’t let my spirit live in fear and bitterness for others prejudices and dislikes towards other people that the Lord made rightfully to be on this earth. 

After getting information on this recent tragedy, Yes I thought about, what if I or my husband were to go out for an innocent jog. I even thought about my kids, as they grow older…what if?? It can be scary! 

I had to snap out of the what if’s because I DID NOT want to take myself into downward spiral mentally and emotionally. I told myself, just LIVE Crystal, just live life. If I can’t live life then I can’t trust God. I choose to live! 

I am not going to let the selfish and ignorant choices others make, to dictate my mental, physical, spiritual and emotional health. 

If I go for a jog or anything else I or my family decide to do, wherever we are, I trust God is with us. 

I trust and know that God is working every situation we are praying for, in His way and time. 

I have console in the scriptures reminding me that God is in control and with me and wanted to share with YOU!

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” ~ 2 Timothy 1:7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” ~ Philippians 4:6-7

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” ~ Isaiah 41:10

When you see and know of injustices, speak and rise up! We need to be in this together and not turn another cheek. 

Please share this with others!!

I love you all!!!

When My Patience Is Tested

I have found that over a month of being in quarantine things about myself was starting to change. 

I realize that my attitude was a little bit more snarky and my fuse just a little bit more short. I’m not exercising as consistently as I had been, and my nutritional habits are very wavy. That’s a reality, but for me a scary one in a career in profession I’m so passionate about. I don’t want my health to fall by the wayside. Why? 

Trying to juggle working from home with conference calls throughout the day, having to make sure my kids Are learning, the kids always on 10! (Mommy, mommy, mommy…), trying to be a good wife and just overall just trying to be a better me was all becoming a real struggle. I was raising my voice more, having a shorter fuse and I didn’t like it!! My patience was finally tested. 

Last Sunday I was kindly reminded from scripture 2nd Corinthians 12:7-10 that Paul asked the Lord to take away his thorns (struggles/weaknesses)3 times, and the Lord did not.

Why? In our weakness we are actually made strong in Gods power He gives. 

2 Corinthians 12:7-10 New International Version (NIV)or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong

His power is working on me Because as I go through moments where I feel like I want to scream, it’s as though the Lord takes a hold of me and reminds me of His pure goodness and I get a sense of calmness. I’m learning that the Lord is teaching me how to properly deal with the struggles I face without taking it out of control.

The other day As I lead my women’s small Restorative Wellness group, I was reminded as we all shared our struggles and victories, that I can redeem my overall wellness and my patience can calmly be restored. Blast worship music, get and take a walk, take the time to MANAGE MY TIME. 

Although I know my patience will still be tested as we continue on in this Quarantine, I know that God’s grace is sufficient for me in this time And that He will continue to teach me how to deal with struggles that come. 

Wanted to share a funny clip of…my patience getting tested.

Woooo Saaaa….

I just think the Lord that he loves me so much to be patient with me as I work on my patience. 

My Rest Vs. My Sleep

Great picture example of what rest looks like
a current moment where I actually felt REST on my body and could just chill in the moment without thinking about anything and just enjoy the weather – I’m still working on it… working on getting to that level in the pic above!


Knowing when to surrender and just allow your body to do what it’s telling you instead of constantly fighting it.

Both rest and sleep are great essentials but the fact is Wheaton to do more of one and ignore the other and I can raise my hand and say I am a culprit of doing one more than the other.

I think we can all agree that since we have been put into quarantine Our routines And time tables have drastically changed.

I know my routine and times have drastically changed because now I don’t have to wake up so early to get the kids ready for school. I have always been a night owl but because of routine getting up early in the morning to get the kids ready and get ready for work I made sure I got in bed in a decent hour to get my ours is sleeping. But now it’s all out of whack and I have definitely put night owl on the podium. 

Now that we have moved into our new home it’s made it even worse because I am always trying to find something to do and keep myself busy with putting the house together. I do make sure I try to rest and just sit and relax but the thing that I am ignoring most is getting my sleep. 

We tend to think that rest can fill in for the gaps of sleep we actually need. We fight the urge to sleep and instead we try to rest then go back at whatever we were trying to accomplish. 

We are putting our body in overdrive especially when we ignore the signals of actually going to sleep. 

It wasn’t until recently that my body said Crystal if you are not going to take yourself to bed and go to sleep then I’m going to make you! 

It didn’t actually resonate with me until I woke up from a long nap that you can enjoy rest and just kicking back and doing nothing if you got the sleep your body needs to keep you energized. 

There were so many times that I thought I could just rest for a little bit and then go ahead, Get up and try to accomplish something when all along I was fighting sleep. 

The new normal routine for me Has been staying up late at night yet getting up early in the morning and it finally took a toll on me. During the day I would try to rest but I knew I was fighting sleep yeah I was ignoring that signal. I would get up from a chill time and go and do something else but my body finally took a hold and told me it was time to take some naps and let me tell you it made a world of difference.

I could actually tell the difference of when I actually rest that I can enjoy rest without actually feeling tired. The sleep that I was not getting was overflowing into the next day and I was trying to push through.

I should know better than anyone how the body works when we ignore signs of allowing our bodies to rejuvenate and recuperate when we sleep.

This new routine for me cannot continue on and I have to get on a routine, even in this quarantine, that will allow me to rest comfortably during the day when needed,  but I also get the hours of sleep that I need and not have to feel tired and struggling throughout the day. 

If you are reading this and you are struggling throughout the day it’s probably because you’re taking too many rest breaks and not enough hours of sleep. 

Know the difference between rest and sleep because if you are taking rest yet you are tired and can’t enjoy that actual rest that means you need to have your butt in bed with your eyes closed. 

Hopefully that helped you because it certainly was an eye-opener for me!

THE BLESSING

This past week has been so filled with challenges and emotions And with that caused anxiety and frustration. We have been in the process of moving into a new home and anyone who has moved before understands that entire process. 

Making sure you have everything and have taken care of everything can make you lose your mind. Not only that, but my health and fitness has been sacrificed through this process. I haven’t done much workouts at all leading up to moving into the new home only gratitude walks with my dog to remind myself how grateful and blessed I am for what the Lord has done. My eating, uuuugggghhh! Not good, I try to get my healthy foods in, but the junk has won most times. Anxiety has built up causing me, what I call the “BG’s” (bubble guts), where it feels like a stomach ache with a lot of butterflies. 

However, just like God gives grace, I give myself grace as well because although this process is an exciting time, it comes with its obstacles. 

In the midst of receiving a beautiful blessing (a new home) that’s when the devil tries to strike over and over. I am going to be honest, I have felt like giving up and that The whole process was not worth it. But I know the devil is a lie and this is what he tries to do when a blessing is on the way. 

I know God never leaves or forsakes us, when He has a blessing to give He is going to make sure that blessing is recieved by giving what is needed to endure even when the hardships come. 

We have finally moved and anxiety is settling down and we get acclimated to our new home. 

The first night I walked around the house praying and thanking God for the blessing. Our children will grow in this home, and prosper. 

This song, I get goosebumps listening to it. 

In light of the blessing God has given to us, I wanted to share this song, The Blessing, with you. 

THE BEAUTY I SEE

How have I been doing during this pandemic? Honestly, I am taking in as much as I can. I am doing well. Mentally, Physically, Spiritually and emotionally it fluctuates day by day. Some days my body just feels tired and with tension. My workouts aren’t always top notch and I haven’t eaten as best I can. Other days my mind may wander and I ask myself am I capable of getting through this pandemic as a parent, wife, and career woman with the various challenges it brings during the stay-in. It’s a day to day transition but overall I can truly say I am grateful. I chose to see the beauty out of things rather than soak in emotions that are not good for my body. For those of you who did not see my workout and affirmation I wanted to share it here with you.

Workout & Affirmation

Within the past couple of weeks I have seen some beautiful things and I wanted to share here with you in hopes that during this pandemic you see beauty out of your situations as well.

What really allows me to soak in the beauty is to simply go on a walk. It’s a slow pace and allows me to take notice of what’s going on around me. 

  • Red and blue birds flying from tree to tree
  • Another mother teaching her daughter how to ride a bike
  • The beautiful blossom of trees 




Precious Moments

Like I said In my workout affirmation video. It’s the smallest things that make a huge impact. 

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Although this pandemic have proven some challenges, I don’t believe the beauty that we are able to capture NOW, would be captured to the fullness had we still been living in our busier life prior to the pandemic. 

I ultimate take away leading up to Resurrection day also known as Easter is no matter what kind of suffering we may nothing is ever comparable to what Jesus had to suffer for our sins. Three days after his crucifixion He rose with victory. That is beauty that I see!

What is the beauty you see? 

INSPIRATION IN THE MIDST OF ADVERSITY

This past weekend I experienced inspiration in the midst of adversity. Although we are in a stay-in the only time I deem necessary to leave out is if I need to stop in the grocery store, but most importantly to check in on my family from time to time. I specifically check in on my parents  to make sure they are ok and we go on walks. 

This particular day my kids, my sister, her daughter and our mom went out for a nice walk. We finished our outdoor activity in the middle of the street popping bubbles. We had a blast. 

Bubbles in the street

It wasn’t until later on that evening when a 2nd  storm came through that things changed. As I was helping my mom wash dishes and clean some things out of the refrigerator, I noticed what looked like a reflection shining from the window. It just didn’t seem right. As I made my way to the window I panicked and pushed my mom out the way, I yelled the street is flooded!!!!

To make a long story short, most houses on the street had damage to their house and/cars. I’m the midst of this, when speaking to the fire department I overheard my parents say on 3 different occasions that night, “we will be ok, we have been through this before we will get through it again.” 

About 30 years ago, the street flooded and all I remember as a little girl was watching neighbors use canoes to travel on the street. 

In that moment, I was inspired by their courage and diligence. When they were calm, I was calm and was able to keep the kids calm. 

I thank the Lord for the timing of being able to react in enough time and just keeping us safe. 

Whether it’s a flood or coronavirus, I pray for the blood of Jesus to cover my family and I from all seen and unseen dangers, all sickness and illness. 

In Jesus name, AMEN!

IF NOT A BETTER TIME

I try and see the best and most positive out of any circumstances that may come. With my own personal testimonies of how God showed His love, grace and mercy on me inthis unprecedented time is no different. 

With the stay-in ordered, whatever plans that we had, got canceled, and my thoughts, definitely For a reason. 

With our world in such a fast pace, it literally went to a screeching halt. 

If this is not a better time to reach out to someone you haven’t spoke to in a while, learn more about yourself, take time to rest, take time to learn new things, the list could go on. This is a very rough time but it’s also A time of opportunity. It’s just all in how you look at it. Some people will not take that opportunity to look at this in a positive way but others will use this opportunity to grow in a positive way. One of my friends said it best in one of her post:

My hope is that love and patience will conquer all. My hope is for people who are frustrated, impatient, and angry can look at these circumstances in another perspective and soften their hearts. It can be stressful holding so much negativity. Those who are rising up to the occasion, giving and extending their hand to help, if THIS is not the better time, I do not know what is. 

Use this time to give God thanks for what we do have, with humble hearts, whether it’s much or little. 

RESTORATION IN PROGRESS

I am going to tell you that I honestly believe That despite all of the changes and craziness that has been going on day today the Lord it’s calling for restoration. Calling for us to restore our relationship with Him, our families, friends, and our lives overall. A time to refocus, and just slow down. 

Since this whole coronavirus debacle it has tested us as human beings in different ways. Heck, even I have been tested! The feeling of a bit of anxiety and being overwhelmed. I’ve had to catch myself and refocus. 

Having to figure out how to make things work as changes are made day today. But I am always reminded there’s always a reason for the season! I am going to always stay positive and that where are my thoughts dwell that this is a rough season of restoring lives. 

The world has been going in a fast forward pace for a while: People having to work two jobs at a time not getting enough sleep/ rest because they’re leaving one job and going to another. People who are putting to much time in and focus with their jobs and not with their children… the list can go on. Although we may be losing something superficially, I believe we can be gaining something much more deeper. 

One Of my friends back in Canton Ohio couldn’t have said it better: 

“Just sitting here thinking…Most of us work 50 weeks a year just to get two weeks off. Enjoy this time with yourself, kids and families because even if it is the end would you rather spend it anywhere else. Enjoy the moment because the moment is all we really have. See the blessing because it’s a blessing in everything. Make peace with life and life will make peace for you”💕❤- Shamiko M. 

I leave with this:

Matthew 6:25-34 New International Version (NIV)

Do Not Worry

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.